Playing the Game You Can Win
How Game Theory Can Save Your Life, Your Business, and Your Sanity
In 1974, two men sat across from each other in a smoky Reykjavik café. One was a world-class chess player, the other a scrappy Icelandic fisherman who played for sport. The chess master had traveled the world, faced the greatest minds of his era, and memorized opening repertoires the way most people memorize their phone numbers.
The fisherman? He’d never read a chess book. He didn’t even own a board at home.
Yet, that night, the fisherman beat the chess master in six moves.
The secret wasn’t mystical. The master assumed they were playing international chess. The fisherman set up the board differently, smiled, and said, “Here, we play Icelandic rules.” Same pieces, different movements.
The master protested. “That’s not chess.”
The fisherman shrugged. “It’s the only chess we play here. You can either adapt… or lose.”
That story has stayed with me for years because it reveals something we often forget in business and life: it’s not enough to play hard—you have to play the right game.
And that’s where Game Theory comes in.
You’ve probably felt it — that grinding frustration that no matter how much effort you pour into your work, you’re still losing ground.
You create better content, and the algorithm changes.
You offer the best service, but a competitor undercuts you on price.
You try to lead with integrity, yet you watch others get ahead by cutting corners.
It feels unfair. And it is.
The world is full of games you didn’t choose, rules you didn’t write, and players who don’t care about playing “the right way.”
Psychologist Kurt Lewin once said, “Behavior is a function of the person and their environment.” What we forget is that environments are shaped by the games being played within them — and if you don’t understand the rules of those games, you’re not competing. You’re a pawn.
This isn’t just a business problem. It’s a human one. In Scripture, the Apostle Paul talks about “running the race set before us” — a metaphor that implies rules, boundaries, and a finish line. But too often, we run someone else’s race and wonder why we’re exhausted, resentful, and behind.
What is Game Theory?
At its core, Game Theory is the study of strategic decision-making — how people and organizations make choices when the outcome depends not just on their own actions, but on the actions of others.
It’s not about games like Monopoly. It’s about any situation where multiple players interact, each with their own goals, strategies, and resources.
In simple terms: Game Theory helps you see the invisible board you’re playing on.
In business, that might mean recognizing that lowering your price won’t help if your competitor’s strategy is to make yours look outdated.
In relationships, it might mean realizing that endless compromise can still lead to loss if the other person’s win condition is different than yours.
In leadership, it might mean understanding that your team isn’t motivated by the same metrics you are.
One of the most famous examples is the Prisoner’s Dilemma: two suspects are arrested. If they both stay silent, they each get one year in prison. If one betrays the other, the betrayer goes free and the other gets three years. If both betray, they both get two years. The “rational” move, according to Game Theory, depends on whether you prioritize trust or self-preservation—and knowing which game you’re in changes everything.
Why It Matters for a Fulfilling Life
This isn’t just a clever business model. This is life and death for your sanity, your integrity, and your future.
Too many founders and creators chase more—more clients, more visibility, more revenue—without realizing they’ve stepped into a zero-sum game where every gain for them means a loss for someone else. That’s exhausting and often soul-killing.
But the highest-performing leaders I’ve worked with have learned to choose infinite games—games where the point isn’t to win once, but to keep playing, keep growing, keep creating value. They build relationships instead of just extracting from them. They pursue mastery instead of chasing trends. They measure success in alignment with their values, not just in quarterly revenue spikes.
As Marcus Aurelius wrote, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Game Theory gives you the tools to identify which events are truly “outside” and how to work the levers you actually control.
Biblically, it echoes the wisdom of Proverbs: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” Understanding the game lets you see the danger—and find the refuge.
Here’s how you can apply Game Theory starting today:
1. Identify the Game You’re In
Ask yourself: What are the real win conditions here? In your market, in your client relationships, in your partnerships—what actually counts as “winning”?
Example: If you think your coaching business is about selling hours, but your competitor is selling transformation, you’re not even playing the same game.
2. Map the Players and Their Motivations
Write down every stakeholder and what they really want—not what they say they want. Your competitor might want market share, but your client might want certainty. The alignment (or misalignment) of those wants defines your strategy.
3. Choose Your Game Type Intentionally
Decide: Are you in a zero-sum game (finite, one person wins) or an infinite game (goal is to keep playing)? Infinite games build resilience and freedom. Finite games can be powerful if you need a decisive win—but dangerous if you live there permanently.
4. Change the Rules
Like the Icelandic fisherman, you can alter the game entirely by shifting the terms. In business, that might mean introducing a new offer structure. In content, it might mean changing platforms to one where your style thrives.
5. Preempt Moves, Don’t Just React
Game Theory teaches that anticipating your opponent’s likely moves beats reacting to them. In business, that means planning two or three moves ahead—building offers, content, and systems that make you harder to counter.
The Meaning in the Work
The chess master in Reykjavik learned an uncomfortable truth: intelligence without adaptability is brittle.
When you learn to see life through Game Theory, you stop being the player who just reacts to moves. You become the architect of the game itself.
That shift doesn’t just make you more successful. It changes your identity. You become someone who no longer measures worth by the scoreboard of others, but by the integrity of the game you’ve chosen to play.
For me, that has meant building Superhuman Systems not as a race to dominate a market, but as an infinite game of helping founders, creators, and coaches build businesses that serve their lives—not consume them. It’s meant losing fast in games that don’t matter so I can win slowly in the ones that do.
Your Action Step
This week, pick one area of your life or business where you feel stuck. Write down:
The real win condition (yours and theirs).
The type of game (finite or infinite).
One way you could change the rules in your favor.
Then take one small action to implement that rule change.
In the end, you don’t have to be the smartest player on the board to win.
You just have to choose the right game, play with clarity, and refuse to spend your life winning battles that cost you the war.
Or, as I like to remind myself:
“In the game of life, you can’t control every move—but you can choose the game worth mastering.”
All Systems Go,
Matt
P.S. If this was helpful, share it with someone in your network. Strategic thinking spreads—and when more people think long-term, everyone wins. 🤙