The Counterintuitive Law of Success Nobody Taught You
What to do when effort stops working
Have you ever told yourself to go to sleep and find out that it makes it harder to fall asleep?
Today, I’m going to show you a theory, coined by author and philosopher Aldous Huxley—The Law of Reversed Effort—that tackles this phenomena in various forms.
“The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent unknown quantity may take hold.” ~Aldous Huxley
In 1954, Roger Bannister became the first man to run a mile in under four minutes.
What most people miss about this story is not that he trained harder.
It’s that he learned to relax mid-stride.
He rewired his nervous system to stop tensing up under pressure.
He made ease his edge.
And when he did—it happened.
A record once deemed impossible, shattered.
I used to white-knuckle my way through every project.
Every launch, every client, every pivot—I treated it like a war.
And sure, I got results.
But I also got panic attacks, burnout, and a constant feeling of being hunted by time.
Eventually, I realized:
It wasn’t the work that was killing me. It was how I was holding it.
You see, we’re told to hustle harder, grind longer, push more.
But what if the very effort is what’s keeping us stuck?
This is The Law of Reversed Effort (popularized by Alan Watts):
“When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float.”
Here’s what I mean:
Life → The harder you try to fall asleep, the more restless you become.
Relationships → The more desperately you try to be liked, the less people respect you.
Business → The more you chase success, the more it evades you.
Why?
Because effort anchored in fear always fails.
But intention rooted in peace multiplies power.
Psychologist Viktor Frankl echoed this:
“Success… cannot be pursued; it must ensue... as the unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself.”
Frankl’s psychological strategy—paradoxical intention—demonstrated this idea.
He would instruct patients to intentionally do the thing they feared—like try to stutter on purpose.
And in doing so, the symptom would disappear.
Why?
Because fear feeds dysfunction.
But surrender starves it.
Popular neuroscience agrees. Studies show that relaxation, not tension, activates your brain’s default mode network—where creativity and insight thrive (Raichle, 2015).
So, the more inner tension you carry, the less access you have to the very clarity and solutions you crave.
This week, do less—but with more presence.
Pick one area of your life where you’ve been pushing…and pause—stop forcing it.
Ask yourself, “What would I do if this were easy?” or “If I trusted I was already enough, what would I do?”
Breathe. Release the need—the pressure—to prove yourself. And do the next small, clear step.
As Maya Angelou once remarked,
“Every great journey begins with a single step.”
Normalize the joy of the journey and dethrone the idol of the goal.
In our achievement-oriented culture, we tend to be obsessed with the When I Get There: “when I get there, I’ll have what I want.”
Problem is, when we get there its great for a moment, and we’re on to the next goal, and then to the next, and then to the next…
We become so future-focused that we miss the present and all of the blessings of the moment. The truth is, in each moment the past and the future don’t exist, so enjoy the present moment because that’s all you have.
Enjoy the journey of becoming. Enjoy the wins and learn from the losses. And…thank God for all of them. Who you become while pursuing your vision is more important than the vision itself.
“The man who loves walking will walk further than the man who loves the destination.” ~Lao Tzu
Be patient with yourself. Consistency wins over stress-filled hustle, and this way you can enjoy the ride.
All Systems Go,
Matt
P.S.If this was helpful for you, it might be helpful for someone else. Feel free to share it. My goal is to help as many people as possible stop settling and start living. 🤙